09 September 2008


I have a conference of sorts that I have to go to for work. I'm not actually attending the conference, just going with a couple of coworkers to visit a client. This particular client is getting a new editor soon, so I'll be able to meet this person at the conference.

Here's the problem: The conference is from 29 October to 2 November. It's not clear to me yet that I have to be there the whole time. I am REALLY hoping that my presence is not necessary for the whole 5 days. Why? Because if it is, then I am going to be out of town for Halloween.

I don't give two craps about Halloween myself. It's never been one of my favorite holidays. But when I mentioned something to BB about being gone for Halloween this year, he was really surprised and not at all happy about it. See, every year, Shane and I have BB for Halloween. We go over to my sister's house and the 3 of us walk around her neighborhood while she and Pete stay home to give out candy. Shane is usually pretty quiet (as usual) during our walk, but BB and I talk a lot during the hour or so that we're out there. So BB is pretty disappointed that I might not be around this year.

I'm finding myself in unfamiliar territory. For all of my working life, I have pretty much done what needs to be done for my job, like it or not. I travel when the company wants me to travel, work the hours they want me to work. And overall, I feel I am pretty lucky. The pay isn't the best, but I love my job and the people I work with.

But having to refuse to do something for work because doing the thing they want me to do interferes with my family is completely new to me. If it were just Shane and me, I'd go on the trip and not think twice about it. But disappointing my stepson is not okay with me.

Sure, there will be other Halloweens. But I don't want to make BB feel like my job is more important than him, particularly since we don't have custody of him, and so have to make the most of holidays like this. It's kind of "our" holiday.

Whenever I get the nerve, I have to tell one of the coworkers with whom I am supposed to be traveling that I can only attend the first 2 days of the conference. I really have no idea what reaction I'm going to get. Wish me luck.

And, can I just say? Being a grownup sucks.



Blogger Brena said...

Good luck! I'm sure it will go well, esp. if they love you as much as you love them! It's very cool that you're staying for BB though, smart move!

12:09 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

I've never heard of a conference over Halloween. I would attend some of the days, then explain yuo have plans and need to get back home if you are able to do that.

5:56 AM  
Blogger kemtee said...

Yes, it does. It's why I refuse to grow up, myself.

I hope you'll be able to work it out to everyone's satisfaction.

2:12 PM  
Blogger weezalana said...

Good luck! I personally think you're making the right decision. Work should be fulfilling (if you're lucky!), but life is about the people you love.

8:23 PM  
Blogger TechGirl said...

Welcome to motherhood..or stepmotherhood...I can't tell you how many times I've changed work plans to do something fun with Gary. You shouldn't have to make up excuses or anything, it's perfectly normal to want to spend Halloween with your (step)kid. As someone who's favorite holiday is, in fact, Halloween, I make sure I'm available for trick or treating every year.

5:21 AM  

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